As I look back over the years I see a marvelous thing…me yesterday and me today. Over 30 years ago as new Christians, not even out of training pants, the honey and I packed up the youngun’s, left his job, our home and most of our possessions. We entered boot camp of New Tribes Mission. We firmly believed this is what God wanted, our church supported us in prayer and generous financial means. We moved into two cement block rooms in Pennsylvania and tried our best. After nine months they not so politely let us know we weren’t what they were looking for. We left with $75 and much pain. It had been a mighty messy experience. I didn’t know it at the time, but God is Sovereign and good.
After being brought up in a bit of a difficult home situation I continued life in great emotional turmoil which also presented itself in physical pain. I can see those yesterdays full of pain, confusion and desire for death only dimly now. I chose to see them that way through the veil of Christ and not to experience them again in my mind. Over the years the Lord, with much patience has been renewing my mind. At times the changes came from the most painful and difficult situations. Lately the changes come in gentle waves of joy. I can see what was meant for evil has been turned into beauty.
I am overcome at times at what the Lord has done. Yes, it has taken many, many years but let that encourage others to never give up seeking what is true and good. Sure, I still continue in the quest to live as Christ would have me, not with overwhelming pain but with the joy and pleasure of knowing the love of God for me. To trust in His sovereignty, enjoy His love and fondness for me. I have learned I need no approval from others for I have the complete approval of God. I have and am learning to continually let the Lord’s truth live through me and not myself.
Being a SOWER is a wonderful experience. After years and years of self-employment and isolation from others I am thrust into relationships with many different personalities. This is our 4th project. The first project in Texas was stressful as I found my way. The second also a time of learning what I could or could not do. I stressed over the physical jobs I could not do and felt inadequate. The third in West Virginia was a joy. There I met a kindred spirit and enjoyed a new and beautiful friendship, my Debbie. Now we are in Florida and I am perfectly comfortable in our new role as SOWER’s. I am learning to enjoy others just as they are. Of course, I’m still a whiner and prone to say what’s on my mind way to often. More another time……..It might be chilly here (upper 50’s) but I know it’s ****CHILLY ****where you are.